Tag Archive | infertility

Get Out Your Laptop, Open A Vein.

So, what does it mean?  It means that at times I wear my heart on my sleeve.  At times I feel so strongly about things I can’t even bring myself to write about them.  When I do finally get up the courage to write about said topics, I feel as though I’m bleeding across the page, the computer screen, so to speak.  At the same time, I need an outlet for my feelings on these subjects, as difficult as it may be.  I need to express myself. By now you may be asking yourself what topics I am referring to above.  They include, but are not limited to:

Infertility – You’d think I’d have it all figured out by now – after 20 years.  I found out about my infertility when I was 10 years old and still playing with dolls.  I’ve always wanted to be a Mom first and foremost.  To my parents’ credit, they were pretty much forced to tell me at that point.  I greatly respect the fact that they knew they had to tell me the truth.  Just when I think I’ve dealt with it and accepted all that it means, it comes flooding back into my life in unexpected ways.  I start back at square one.  I want to write a series about my personal experiences so other young women won’t make the same mistakes I made or feel alone.  I’m just not there yet.  I wish we would actually discuss infertility in relation to Turner Syndrome, but it seems almost taboo, or at least it was when I was growing up.  It angers me.  We need to treat infertility as a disease, not fertility or short stature.

Motherhood – There are a whole separate set issues surrounding Motherhood I’d love to address here.  Biology alone does not make you a Mom.

I may not be a mother – but I’m still a person | Life and style | The Guardian

Sexuality and Turner Syndrome – I’ve tried to discuss these issues in the past here, but there is so much left unsaid.  Again, I don’t want young women with Turner Syndrome – or similar issues – to feel alone.  It doesn’t help that the medical profession doesn’t always get it right or that there is still so much wrong information out there.

Turner Syndrome and Sex | Ramblings of a Misguided Blonde

Reproductive Rights – The entire conversation around reproductive rights going on today absolutely disgust me.  While we shouldn’t be telling anyone what to do with their bodies, there are boundaries and we as a society need to support families – Moms, Dads, and kids.  Why can’t we respect each other and face the fact that not everyone can create a family easily?

Marriage – To marry or not to marry, that is the question.  I haven’t answered that just yet.  I love the idea of marrying Brian.  I just don’t like all of the questions and nosiness that comes with it.  And then there is religion…

Why Do You Ask? | Ramblings of a Misguided Blonde

Religion – I have so many issues with organized religion that I’m unsure of exactly what I believe anymore.  The entire situation surrounding the conversation on reproductive rights has done nothing to resolve anything.  It has only served to portray the Catholic Church in a harsh light.  How am I supposed to support any organized religion when they appear so unsympathetic to anyone who doesn’t fit the mold?  The article below is a perfect example.

Pope Says Couples Who Conceive Through In-Vitro Fertilization Are Guilty Of Arrogance | RH Reality Check

A Personal Rant

Copyright 2012 Ziiplight

There are so many things running through my head at the moment.  Lately I’ve come to realize the thousand of different ways we all hurt one another, intentionally and unintentionally.  Why can’t people live and let live?  That is what angers me most.  Why must people force their views on others?  I’ve heard all too much regarding the entire contraception debacle, and the non-existent “war on women.”  I just can’t bring myself to fully discuss those topics and all they entail just yet.  I’ve noticed a few people clicking on my Reproductive Rights page.  Again, like the main Turner Syndrome page, I want to make sure I get it right.

I hope I am not the only one who feels so confused at the moment.  While I am well aware of what I believe and where I stand on the issues, I’m having a hard time figuring out where I personally fit in.  I just hope I figure it out before it is too late.  Something’s gotta give.  I can’t honestly believe the one thing I want out of life will be forever out of my reach.

March 12, 2012 ~ Favorite Posts, Turner Syndrome, Etc.

Over the last few days I’ve thought a lot about the direction in which I want to take this blog.  In some respects, I’m making some headway; in others, I really need to get to work.  In putting together my Playing Favorites page, I realized that many readers are drawn here due to my posts on Turner Syndrome.  Almost all of my posts pertaining to Turner Syndrome are among my most popular.  I’m not sure exactly how to handle that.

While I have no problem discussing Turner Syndrome openly, including my personal issues resulting from that diagnosis, as well as my experiences, I am so much more than just a Turner’s woman.  I simply don’t want my blog to become defined by Turner Syndrome.  I know it certainly hasn’t thus far.  I’m just adamant my blog reflects me, all of me, not just one aspect of my life.

Unfortunately there are several very good reasons why I am compelled to write about all aspects of Turner Syndrome.

  1. There just isn’t a lot of information out there.  Even worse, there is still too much incorrect information out there.
  2. Adolescence is hard enough.  As a teenager, there weren’t many places I could turn for accurate information pertaining to Turner Syndrome.  At the time my questions seemed too embarrassing to ask my doctor or even my parents.  I know there are teen girls with Turners who feel precisely the same way.  If nothing else, I want those teens to feel just a little less alone in the world.
  3. In my 20s, I realized there was even less information for young women with Turners, just when it is needed most.  There is so much misinformation out there, especially relating to Turner Syndrome and fertility.  I haven’t even begun to address infertility and all the emotional turmoil that comes with it.  I have yet to find any group composed of women and girls with Turner Syndrome, as well as parents of girls with Turner Syndrome, that addresses any of the emotional issues associated with the disorder.  That angers me.  I realize the physical health issues are important, but no one seems to want to address anything else.
  4. There isn’t that much information on Turner Syndrome out there.  Someone has to blog about it, right?

I’ve also noticed several people clicking on my main Turner Syndrome page.  Despite my best intentions, I haven’t written it yet, despite covering specific topics, such as Playing Favorites and Turner Syndrome and Sex.  There is just so much to say, I want to make sure I get it right.

Below is a sneak peek at my favorite’s page, Playing Favorites.  Please take the time to check it out.

Below are a few posts in which I discuss Russell Canoe Livery and Campgrounds:

Growing Up @ Russell Canoes | Ramblings of a Misguided Blonde

Camp | Ramblings of a Misguided Blonde

Sometimes You Can Go Home Again | Ramblings of a Misguided Blonde

Back To The Future: Letters Into The Past | Ramblings of a Misguided Blonde

Once Upon A River | Ramblings of a Misguided Blonde

Turner Syndrome In Pop Culture

Amazon.com: The Condition: A Novel: Jennifer Haigh: Books

Jennifer Haigh || Author of Faith, The Condition, Baker Towers and Mrs Kimble

Books of The Times – In ‘The Condition,’ Jennifer Haigh Explores a Fractured Family – Review – NYTimes.com

Jennifer Haigh – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Believe it or not, there are a couple of instances in the past few years in which Turner Syndrome was portrayed, fairly correctly, in pop culture.  Personally I am glad to see it.  Let’s start with the book.

The protagonist of Jennifer Haigh’s 2008 novel The Condition, Gwen, has Turner Syndrome.  While the “condition” of the novel supposedly refers to Turners, it really, at the end of the novel, represents the human condition.  I won’t go into detail about Gwen’s family, all of whom are much more screwed up than she is, other than to say the entire novel is about family dysfunction and the million little ways in which we hurt each other.

For a time, I felt conflicted about the book.  For every woman with Turners who felt the book accurate, there were just as many who saw it as inaccurate.  From my perspective, it is fairly accurate; it just uses the physical and social characteristics associated with Turners to full effect.  After reading the book a second time, I still find it hard to fairly review the book.  I suppose in some ways it describes various aspects of Turners a little too well.

There are a few scenes in the book that I could directly relate to as a woman with Turners.  The scene in which Gwen is compared to a female cousin approximately the same age breaks my heart, as did the scene in which Gwen begs her Mother for a new bathing suit.  I could relate.  I have a slightly older female cousin who happened to wear women’s sizes long before I could.  I distinctly remember feeling left out, never able to catch up, and plain envious.  Jennifer Haigh captured the situation well, but I wish she would’ve included more from Gwen’s perspective, even if she was a child at the time.

One of the most perplexing and complicated relationships in the novel happens to be between Gwen and her Mother.  Again, I found I could relate to their relationship, unfortunately.  Gwen seemed to have the need to become her own woman, in spite of what her Mother thought best.  While I have a better relationship with my Mom than Gwen had with hers, I do feel she doesn’t even begin to understand where I am coming from at times.  While that may be true for many mothers and daughters, I do think a diagnosis of Turner Syndrome strains that particular relationship.  How can mothers help their daughters deal with almost certain infertility, especially at a young age?  I was diagnosed at age three and knew about infertility by age ten.  I don’t think there is an answer and I don’t think most moms know how to even begin to address it.

Most of the action in the novel pertaining to Gwen revolves around her finally finding love and happiness.  The details pertaining to the reactions of her family members, some of which are just plain awful, seem a bit far-fetched.  Then again, many people just do not know what to make of women with Turner Syndrome at times, especially when it comes to romantic relationships and sex.  While the book ended on very positive notes, the ending seemed forced.  I must say that I highly approve of the life Gwen created for herself in the end.  What more can anyone ask for?

Below is a video of Jennifer Haigh discussing The Condition.  I suppose I’m left wondering if she understands the role hormone replacement therapy plays in helping women with Turners Syndrome develop secondary sex characteristics, but I digress.

IMDb – “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” Clock (TV episode 2006)

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: Clock – Season 8, Episode 2 – TV.com

Clock – Law and Order

It is now time to move on to TV.  Several years ago I was pleasantly surprised to learn that one of my favorite TV shows, Law & Order:  Special Victims Unit, dealt with Turner Syndrome.  In the episode Clock, teenager Janey Speer, who has Turners, disappears with a classmate while on a field trip.  While Benson and Stabler first believe Janey to be the victim in the case, it isn’t so clear cut in the end.

I won’t give away the plot – and Turners is central to the plot in this case – but there are a couple of things I found quite amusing about this episode.  First and foremost, this episode portrays Turners girls and women as extremely stubborn.  I certainly fit that stereotype, as does most of my family.  The amusing part is that most Turners girls and women I’ve met over the years also fit the stereotype.  We are a feisty bunch.  My theory is that we had to be stubborn even to survive in the womb.  As 98 to 99% of fetuses with Turner Syndrome are miscarried, we can truly say we are the 1%.

The episode focuses on just how young Janey looks at 17.  In many ways I take exception to the portrayal of Turners girls and woman as always looking much younger than their true age.  That certainly isn’t always the case, although it would come in handy say at age 40.  What got me is the reaction from the cops to Janey’s relationship with her boyfriend.  He really did get treated shabbily.  One detective even tried to get him as pedophile.  While it would be easy to find that offensive, there was enough humor and humanity in the characters throughout the episode to put things in perspective.  Maybe I’m just partial to Turners girls and women being portrayed as stubborn.  Of course we are!

Cover of "The Condition: A Novel"

Cover of The Condition: A Novel

What does science fiction tell us about the future of reproductive rights? | James Russell Ament

 

Frankenstein (1931) film poster

Image via Wikipedia

What does science fiction tell us about the future of reproductive rights? | James Russell Ament.

Some great food for thought.

Why Do You Ask?

‘Times’ Advice Guru Answers Your Social Q’s : NPR

This interview, which I happened to catch on the radio on my way home from work, really struck a chord.  People can offend so easily without necessarily realizing what they are doing.  They may mean well, but that doesn’t make it OK.  For example, many people ask a couple who have dated for years when they plan to marry.  Worse yet, almost as soon as a wedding is over, well-meaning relatives, usually female, ask when the happy couple plans to have children.  I have all too much experience with these prying personal questions.

Here’s the thing:  You have no idea what someone else is going through.  For example, in the case of the above questions, I’d love more than anything to be starting a family right now.  I do want to get married and want to have children more than anything.  Unfortunately, I have Turner Syndrome and that isn’t likely to happen.  It kills me to watch my childhood friends, my cousins, and my little sister become mothers knowing that I don’t get to join the club, at least not yet.  In fact, there is a very real reason why I don’t want to get married at this point.  I don’t wanted to be asked continuously why I’m not pregnant yet, especially considering most women my age are starting to hear the tick of the biological clock.

Do I eventually want to get married?  Of course!  I just want to be in a position to start the adoption process at the same time.  I want to be able to have an answer to those inevitable questions.  I want to be able to say that we’ve started the adoption process.  Maybe then the person asking the prying questions will realize that marriage and parenthood doesn’t necessarily come easily for everyone.

When I first heard the interview and the suggestion of coming back with “Why do you ask?,” I couldn’t help think about a certain scene in Bridget Jones’ Diary in which Bridget suffers through a dinner party composed of smug marrieds, Bridget being the odd woman out.  In my opinion, “Why do you ask?” is the perfect response for such situations.  I just wish that people didn’t feel the need to ask such personal questions.  If I have wonderful news such as I am getting married or I am pregnant, I will share.  I promise.  Until then, please just keep your thoughts to yourself.  It is my life to live and no one else’s.  Period.